He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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