I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
