I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
nutella sex= disaster
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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