I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
