who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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