I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
