I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
