apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
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