Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
