I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
organizing the empties. That sober.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
