dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
