Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it was like eating out sand paper
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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