the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
