You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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