Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize