Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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