well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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