remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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