Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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