woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
