then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
