if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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