Sry I called you an 8
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
