sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
