i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
