She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
