My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
