it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I have fence marks all over my body
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
