I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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