dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
