He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Terrible idea I love it
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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