More tranny stories later!
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
