You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
