i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
