ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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