i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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