I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
