He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Randomize
