Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
we're making bets on your personal life
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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