Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
