Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
