none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
