I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
I used to kick so much ass
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She's allergic to latex.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.