i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
