Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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