Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
