everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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