areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
