If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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