I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize