My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
my poor anus
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
