"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
