Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
