He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
