I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
