Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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