You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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