I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm always down for nudity.
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