sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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