just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Your penis caused this!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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