You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
