apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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