You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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