I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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