we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
