no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
